Communication - Communication challenges are often at the cornerstone of couple discord. A lack of communication can lead to confusion, and a lot of guessing. Because our relationship guesses are often wrong, this can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. Learning to communicate needs and rationals behind behavior can increase the empathy partners have for one another, and can help each member reevaluate his/her behavior.
Expectations - The expectations we bring into any relationship can greatly impact how we look at our partner. These attributes are usually learned from prior relationships or observing the relationships of others. These observations can lead to high or low expectations in various areas, and can put undue pressure on the relationship.
Sexuality - Sexuality is often an area of difficulty for couples. Often, challenges elsewhere in the relationship will be exhibited through intercourse, or a lack thereof. Exploring the presence of other emotional challenges in the relationship (e.g. not feeling loved, respected, understood, etc...) can help to resolve the core of the issue. Also, couples are often reluctant to discuss their needs and wants during sex. Therefore, a focus on improving the communication between partners with regard to sexuality can increase its enjoyment and frequency.
Financial Issues - Finances are one of the most common challenges for a couples, and can be a difficult subject for many to discuss openly and calmly. Usually, therapy around financial issues begins with assessing the needs and wants of each member, and a focus on respecting one another’s concerns and/or opinions. Once this has been established, couples usually benefit from focusing on ways to compromise, and specific systems to organize and control finances with more ease.
Extended Family - “The in-laws” are a common topic of dispute amongst couples. Members of a couple may feel torn between the needs of their family and their partner. Often, exploring the differences between the role of extended family, and the desired role of extended family can shed light into the underlying causes of the dispute. In addition, exploring feelings of value and importance within the family system is often helpful.
Children - There are many areas of dispute that occur around children for couples. One of the most common struggles involve the consideration of having children and/or the timeline for having children. Exploring the thoughts, hopes, and fears of each couple members can shed light into what areas are most important to each individual, and if/where compromise may be possible.
Friends and Interests - Like any relationship, couples have a need to enjoy activities with one another. Even if a couple exhibits many positive attributes, the relationship can feel incomplete if this need is not met. Exploring these differences, and establishing some healthy compromises or new shared activities will often increases a couple’s overall sense of fulfillment with one another’s company.
Spirituality - Differences in spirituality can greatly impact a relationship if one or both members of the couple feel a strong need to share the same belief system. Being able to exhibit a sincere respect for thoughts and feelings of each partner is usually at the core of these disagreements. Once this has been established, the route for resolving this obstacle is generally much clearer.
Politics - Political arguments can be a source of major distress for couples where one or both members have strong political beliefs. Counseling for this area typically revolves around each partner genuinely valuing the opinion of their other, and being able to exhibit this respect easily. This expression of respect is usually a major stepping-stone to understanding and resolving this dispute.
Blended Family Issues - Blended families can be complex, and often require a lot simplification through communication. Often couples will explore the differences before and after the inclusion of their families, and logical obstacles that formed. More commonly, however, couples will process blended family issues with the whole family. With the presence of the entire family, therapy can help simplify the challenges by addressing needs and wants between each dyad in the family. This is done with a strong emphasis on listening and respecting the thoughts and feelings of other family members.
Relationship Rekindling - The above are just some of the areas from which couples often benefit from counseling. Throughout this process, and especially after major disputes have been reduces, relationships benefit greatly from a rekindling process. This involves making time for one another, and planning events or vacations specifically for the couple to enjoy being a couples.
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